What would a course intended to teach something be without something to practice on?  And so as I embarked on my study of A Course In Miracles, naturally an issue to practice on had to appear.

It is a fortunate thing that this issue was presented to me gradually because it is by far the most potent challenge I have had in my life: love and romance.  This is the one issue that has proved to have the ability to threaten my sanity.  I have had other serious challenges in my life, but none have rocked my boat like this one has.  As the issue began to impose itself on me more and more in my thoughts, I began to panic.  I felt quite threatened by it.

I had already read The Disappearance of the Universe by then, so I tried to apply the thought that this was all a dream, that there was no one else out there.  It helped some, but this was a very difficult situation to relegate to a dream.  I also actively applied the ideas from the lessons to the issue.  Lesson 24 (“I do not perceive my own best interests.”) was rather helpful and quite true.  My thoughts with regard to what was going on resulted in a great deal of conflict.  Another helpful thought was the idea of making a choice to identify with the body or the spirit.  Those who have chosen the spirit say that the rewards far exceed anything the body can provide.  For now, I’ll have to trust them on that.

The situation also reminded me of one of Aesop’s fables: The Dog and the Shadow.  Grasping at the shadow would most definitely cause me to lose what I already have.